Christmas can be a challenging time of year. It’s a time that’s supposed to be joyful and festive, but it can be difficult if we or someone we care about are struggling with the loss of a loved one. If you’re feeling grief this holiday season, know that you’re not alone.
It can be particularly difficult to deal with grief during the holidays. Holiday traditions may serve as a reminder of what has been lost, and the happiness of others can make grieving individuals feel isolated and alone. However, there are ways to feel more supported through the season.
How to approach those struggling with a loss
It can be challenging to approach someone who is grieving during the holiday season. You may be worried about saying the wrong thing or making them feel worse. However, it’s important to reach out and offer your care and support.
It’s best to do nothing more than validate their feelings, make it clear that we care and want to be of help, and then be guided by their response. How do we do that?
1. Acknowledge their loss. It’s OK to say something to them about what happened. Avoid phrases like “at least…” or “it was for the best.”
2. Listen. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. Let them talk about their loved one and their grief. Avoid giving advice or telling them how they should feel.
3. Offer or extend practical help. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help, whether running errands, cooking a meal, or just sitting with them in silence. You can also take the initiative to do something to make their life easier as it may be overwhelming for someone who is grieving to have to think of anything else.
4. Be patient. Grief doesn’t go away overnight. It is a process. Allow them the time they need to heal. Each person grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Extend compassion and grace and do not judge them for the way they may express their grief or the time it takes them to move through the grieving process.
In summary, the best way to approach others who are struggling with a major loss … is usually to do nothing more than validate their feelings, make it clear that we care and want to be of help, and then be guided by their response.
If you or someone you know feel overwhelmed by grief, or simply that you need more help, do see your local GP or local health centre, or church pastor and ask about grief counselling. Here are a couple of web site links that you could consider:
https://www.calvarycare.org.au/public-hospital-kogarah/services-and-clinics/#bereavement-counselling